But last week, someone came to my site after searching the term “Where can I find Twilight sanitary towels?”.

I. Am. Disturbed.

P.S. I obviously know where the search engines have picked up on this phrase from (it’s here); that’s not what disturbs me. What disturbs me is the thought that a girl somewhere has actually typed not just “Twilight Sanitary Towels”, like a “Haha, I wonder if that’s ever been done”, kind of search. As in, they actually want some, and worse, they’re expecting my site to be able to source them.

P.P.S. If you, like the aforementioned girl, have arrived here searching for a similar thing…no, you won’t find what you’re looking for here, and honestly…seek help.

Also, the last thing I would want to do is rile up a horde of Twi-hard (Twi-Hard = Twilight + Die Hard — Bruce Willis would be rolling in his grave, if he was dead.) fans.  And they will call me jealous.  Not that I could argue that; of course I’m freaking jealous.  Do they not realise how difficult getting a book, any book, published is?  And Meyer has swooped down and just plucked it right out of thin air.  I’ve read her bio about the first book’s journey to publication, and even she herself admits it is largely down to luck. I am jealous of Stephenie Meyer’s luck.  There, I said it.

So I don’t comment on the quality of the book because everyone is entitled to their own opinion, everyone has different tastes, and no, Twilight is not to everyone’s (Yes, I have read it. No, I didn’t like it). Before Meyer’s work came under scrutiny, the big one that came under attack was Rowling with Harry Potter.  At least no one is trying to claim that Twilight is a book for everyone, like they did with Harry Potter.

So what’s all this “commenting” worth?

Well, this week, I have mostly been distracted by the YouTube video series, simply called “Alex Reads Twilight”:

Alex Day, a musician and one of these “YouTube Sensations” has decided to provide us, the viewer, a running commentary on his experiences reading Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight. Before I even started watching them, I had a feeling they would be good.  I did not imagine they would be head-in-your-hands-while-simultaneously-crying-and-choking kind of good.

Suffice to say, I have watched all those that are available (takes about half an hour), and he’s not even finished yet.  I would suggest you not only watch them, but also check out the whole series, and don’t forget to subscribe, so you can catch the rest when they’re out.

Also check out his other videos. He’s a series vlogger, and his editing style is choppy in the way that is very easy to entertain even those with the shortest attention span.

His music’s not bad, either.

Twilight Plasters or 'Band-Aids'

I don’t even know where to start.

No really, I can’t, I just…nothing even comes close to…words escape me.

It does make you wonder what might be next:

Who's for Twilight Toilet Roll?

Or how about Twilight sanitary towels, maybe?

Oh, the possibilities! Doesn’t bear thinking about, really.

Still, all the fangirls would probably go apeshit over the towels, especially if his face was on the pads….EW EW EW, totally just grossed myself out there.

I’m sorry. I couldn’t help myself.

I am ashamed.